Freddy Goes to Purgatory
by Kiera Jinx
Summary: The Boss meets some kooky robots during a part-time job, and decides to have some fun with them. Contains FemBoss, Boss/Foxy, Pierce/Freddy, and Gat/Chica. No romance. Excessive profanity, and occasional graphic violence.
1. NIGHTWATCH: STAGE 1

**The following story takes place in Stilwater, after the story of Saints Row 2, but before Saints Row: The Third. The characters are based on how they were in Saints Row 2, just to avoid confusion.**

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><p>The Boss of the Third Street Saints was searching through the want-ads for a part-time job. It was a hobby of hers. Despite being the leader of the biggest gang in the city, she often enjoyed taking odd-jobs, just for the amusement. She had been a pimp, an MMA fighter, a cab-driver, a cop, a drag-racer, a saboteur, and even a prostitute, all in good fun. After a satisfying run covering an entire neighborhood lot with feces to drive down real-estate prices, the Boss was looking for something a little less active. It was then that she found a particular ad.<p>

"Night Security wanted for Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria," she read aloud whilst lounging around the crib in Saints Row. "Freddy Fazbear's Pizza?" Pierce said, eavesdropping on the Boss's comments to herself, "Shiiit, I didn't know that place was still around."

"You been there before?" The Boss asked Pierce.

"Yeah, my Moms used to take me there for all my birthdays, 'til I turned 10,"

"Was it any good?"

"Hell no! The pizza tasted like shit, and they had them creepy-ass singin' robots who smelled funny, and no games at all! Freddy's is fuckin' terrible. I kept tellin' my Moms that I wanted to go to an arcade, but bitch was like 'If you don't like Freddy's, then I guess I won't take you anywhere at all.' Some ol' bullshit," Pierce ranted.

"Yeah, Pierce, I didn't ask to hear about your shitty childhood," The Boss gave a snide reply.

"Man, whatever. I'm just tellin' it like I remember," Pierce responded, attempting to sound dismissive.

"I think I'll give them a call," The Boss said, ignoring Pierce.

That day, The Boss arrived at Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria, holding a resume in her hand. The place was bright and rather shoddy. The main trio of animatronics were singing some god-awful tune for a small group of children wearing birthday hats. The manager, a fat sweaty balding fellow was standing near the back of the dining room, giving The Boss dirty looks, clearly not fond of her gangsta style. She grinned smugly as she walked over to him. She loved messing with his type. "Hey there. I'm here for the job interview."

"Isn't that peachy. Let's head into my office, so the kids don't have to look at you."

The two sat down in the manager's office. The manager looked over The Boss's resume, unamused by her attempts at being cute.

"It says here your name is 'The Boss'..."

"Yessir," The Boss said cheerfully.

"Is that your maiden name?" The manager asked sarcastically.

"Yes indeed. I still haven't quite found that special person yet," she said coyly.

"So," the manager cleared his throat, "you were born August 5th, 1955?"

"Mhmm."

"8/05/55... almost looks like you're just trying to spell 'Boss' with the numbers."

"What a coincidence," she giggled.

The manager sighed, "Your experience is in 'Being a bad-ass Boss,' and 'Bossing my homeboys like a Boss,'"

"Damn right," she said, reclining back in her chair.

The manager looked like he was about to pop a blood vessel. "So, you were management, then?" he asked, humoring her bullshit.

"You could say that."

"Who, might I ask, were you managing 'like a Boss'?"

"Oh, just a local youth group."

"Youth group? Any one I might've heard of?"

"Maybe. Ever heard of the 3rd Street Saints?" She said with a wide smile.

The manager jumped back in his chair, straightened his posture, and put on a nervous smile. "O-oh, you're _that _Boss! Well, it's a p-pleasure to meet you!" he said, immediately changing his attitude. "W-well, what would such an important figure in the city want with a dingy job like this?"

"Taking part-time jobs is a hobby of mine. Being the rich and famous ruler of the city allows me to have my little quirks. After all, who's gonna try and stop me?" The Boss said, intimidating the sweaty little man, and dropping any facade of innocence.

"Ahah, well," the manager laughed nervously, "being a security guard can be dangerous work, you know. If something were to happen, then what would the Saints do without you?"

"Hmhm... hmhmhm," The Boss tried to contain her laughter, but to no avail. She burst out laughing so loud that even the kids out in the dining hall could hear her over the music. She fell out of her chair, and rolled around on the floor laughing uncontrollably.

"Uh... Miss? Are you alright?" The manager asked worriedly.

The Boss tried to compose her self, and grabbed onto the desk to lift herself back to her feet. "Aha... Aha... haa..." her laughter calmed down, "-Ahem- Sorry about that. No, the Saints aren't going to come after you if something happens to me. Besides, nothing's gonna happen to me."

"Err- That's not what I asked..."

"But it's what you were thinking. C'mon, nothing's gonna go wrong."

The manager sighed in surrender, "Fine, you can have the job. Your shift is from 12 AM to 6 AM. All ya need to do is watch the security cameras for any intruders. You see anyone who's not supposed to be there, you call the cops. Or, I guess you could just shoot them."

"Yeah, that sounds more my style."

"Egh, try not to leave any bodies in the dining hall. This is a family restaurant, y'know? You can help yourself to any food in the kitchen, but it's important that you do not tamper with the animatronics. I'm serious, don't touch them."

"Yeah yeah," she said dismissively.

"We don't have the money to run the main power all night, so the power's set to a back-up generator. Its energy is pretty limited, so-..."

"Blah blah blah, get to the fucking point!"

The stress made his eye twitchy. "When can you start?" he asked whilst clenching his teeth.

"Tonight, preferably."

"Excellent," he said, barely containing an evil chuckle.

**-THAT NIGHT-**

The Boss showed up just as the last of the cleaning staff was leaving, walking nonchalantly over to her shitty new office in the back of the restaurant. When the clock struck midnight, the main power shut off, and her shift had officially begun, so she picked up the laptop hooked into the cameras. Pretty soon, her phone started ringing.

"Uh Hello?" A disingenuous voice spoke to her. She was only half listening for a few seconds, then when he began talking about "legal responsibilities," she hung up on him, because she's a rebel! She doesn't care about the law!

As she scrolled through the cameras, she noticed that Bonnie the Bunny was gone from the stage. A little irritated that a problem was arising already, she scrolled through the cameras until she finally found Bonnie, standing in the Backroom. Deciding to confront the problem head on, she left her office and wandered through the dark halls, and into the Backroom.

"Hey yo, Rab-bot!" she said to Bonnie with an agitated voice. Bonnie's head cocked toward her in an unnatural and robotic fashion. "Get back to the stage. I'm trying to guard the place, and I don't need you snooping around and distracting me."

Bonnie stared at The Boss dead-eyed for a moment, before letting out an ear-piercing shriek, and attempting to grab her. However, The Boss is a bad-ass, and merely kicked Bonnie in the gut, and knocked him on his ass. Bonnie was just a little confused by that.

The Boss dug a finger around in her ear. "The fuck, man? You trying to make me go deaf?" All of a sudden, Foxy ran into the Backroom toward The Boss, shrieking his loudest as well. The Boss, expecting it, this time, turned around and let him run right into a lariat, knocking him on his back, and sliding into Bonnie.

"Seriously, you guys?" The Boss looked back at the doorway, and saw Freddy and Chica peeking in. She sighed, "Okay, everyone, back to the Stage. We need to have a talk."

The Boss stood at center stage, whilst Freddy, Bonnie, and Chica sat in front of the stage, as if they were children watching the show. "Eh, one, two, three... Where's the other one?"

Foxy made a mad dashing second attempt at The Boss, lunging headfirst toward her and shrieking, but the Boss just stepped out of the way, and let Foxy crash into the wall behind the stage. "Are you done yet?" she asked impatiently, and Foxy got up and sat with the rest of the bots.

"You guys realize I have a job to do, right? I don't have time to babysit you. Why are you running around shrieking anyway?"

Freddy rose his hand to answer. "Yes, Top-hat?"

"Flesym os yas od I fi trops s'nemeltneg eurt a. Efil rieht dne dna tius a otni meht ffuts ot teg ew neht, esol yeht fi dna, meht gnihctac morf su peek ot yrt yeht. Sdraug ytiruces thgin eht fo lla htiw yalp ew trops elttil a s'ti," Freddy said in a deep garbled voice.

"Yeah, that was just a bunch of gibberish. Anyone wanna try explaining it in English?"

"Let's eat!" Chica interjected.

"Oh, so you can talk? Care to explain the situation?"

"Let's eat!" Chica repeated.

"Is that all you can say?"

Chica paused for a moment, and then shrieked.

"Is this really all the communication you guys are capable of? Raspy gibberish, catch-phrases, and shrieking?"

Freddy, Chica, and Bonnie all looked to each other, and then began singing in unison.

"_Oh it's a Freddy-rific day at Freddy's Pizza!_

_Let's all play some games and have a party!"_

"STOP THAT, RIGHT NOW!"

The trio stopped singing.

"Jesus Christ, that's worse than the shrieking." She rubbed her forehead in dismay. "How about you, Hook? You got anything to say?" she directed her question to Foxy.

_"Fifteen men on a dead man's chest! Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!"_ Foxy sang in a raspy pirate voice.

"Hell yeah! This one's got some taste, but that doesn't explain a damn thing. Ugh, I'm getting nowhere."

They sat around doing nothing for a little while, until Freddy got an idea. He walked over to the security room, and grabbed a cassette tape, and a stereo, and then brought it over to the stage. The five listened to it together.

"Uh, hello? I was told you might be the impatient type, so I left you this back-up tape, in case you missed out on something from my call. Uhh, you probably noticed that the animatronics get a bit quirky at night. Rest assured, this is totally normal. They're uhhh left on a sort of 'Free-roaming' mode to keep their servos from locking up. Now, there's nothing to worry about, but if they see you at night, then they probably won't recognize you as a person. They'll see you as a metal endoskeleton without its suit on. Now, since that's against the rules here at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, they're probably going to try to forcefully put you into a Freddy Fazbear suit. Now, that wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for all the metal framing, wiring, and servos. As you can imagine, having your head forcefully put inside one of those masks would cause quite a bit of discomfort... and death. It's nothing to worry about really, though, and this first night should be a breeze. Well, talk to you tomorrow!"

"Oh, so you guys were playing a game with me, and trying to crush my pretty little face with wires and metal and shit," The Boss commented.

"Ssel ro erom," Freddy spoke again in that deep distorted voice.

"Top-hat, you can just nod 'yes' or 'no'."

Freddy nodded.

"Well, since I kicked your asses, I guess that means I won. Now that I think of it, stalking around trying to grab motherfuckers and force them into an uncomfortable place does sound like a lot of fun. I wanna play too!"

Bonnie shrieked.

"Indeed, Rab-bot, we can't all play together without a new security guard. Good thing I know just the dumb-ass who'll take the job." The Boss pulled out her cell-phone and called up Pierce. "Yo, Pierce, I hate to do this on short notice, but something came up, and I can't finish my shift at Freddy's. Could you come watch over the place for the rest of the night while I take care of things?"

"Man, why do I always gotta take care of your dumb bull-shit?" Pierce said in an annoyed tone.

"Oh c'mon, Pierce. I'll buy you lunch."

"Meeh... Anywhere I want?"

"You name it!"

"...A'ight, but just this once."

"Tee-hee, see ya later, Pierce!" They hung up the phone. "Alright, everyone, back in your positions! I'll get dressed, and we can start the fun!"

**-TWENTY MINUTES LATER-**

Pierce arrived at the Pizzeria, with a half empty 40 oz. in his hand. He was a little buzzed, and not particularly enthused about being The Boss's bitch. The Boss was waiting on the stage next to Chica, wearing a cute cartoon kitty costume, to go with the theme. She made sure to hold totally still, so that Pierce wouldn't suspect a thing. Pierce made his way to the security room, and sat down, and began fumbling with the security laptop.

"Okay guys, let's give him a good scare before we grab him," The Boss whispered to the animatronics. First up was Bonnie. Bonnie had made his way to the West hallway. Pierce noticed this and audibly shouted "What the fuck?!"

Then he looked around on the other camera's, and saw Chica staring directly into the Bathroom side camera, her head twitching unnaturally. "Shit, Boss, what the fuck did you get me into?!" Pierce tried to lower his voice, but he was very panicky. Then the Boss decided it was her turn for a scare. She appeared directly in the East doorway. Pierce cried out when he saw her, and shut the door in her face immediately. Pierce then noted Foxy rushing down the West hallway, and shut the West door as soon as possible as well. Pierce cowered onto the floor and started crying. "No, please God, I don't wanna die like this. I wanted to die like a gangster!"

As he was cowering, and not paying attention to his power supply, the magnetic doors quickly sapped away all the remaining power. The dim lights shut off, and the magnetic doors flew open. Freddy appeared at the West door, and started playing a little song from a music box.

"Oh no... please... no!"

Freddy shrieked and grabbed hold of Pierce, lifting the poor underling over his shoulder, and carrying him to the backroom. There, the other animatronics, as well as The Boss in disguise, were waiting. Freddy dropped Pierce on the ground before them. Pierce backed away, teary eyed. "Please, leave me alone, I don't wanna die!"

The Boss burst out into laughter. Pierce recognized her voice instantly. "Boss?! The fuck are you doin'?!"

The Boss took her mask off, still laughing hysterically. "Pierce, you little wimp, you should've seen your face!"

"Man, this ain't funny! What the fuck were you doin', and who the hell are these guys?!"

The Boss looked around at the animatronics, and realized she didn't know their names. "Uhm... Top-hat here is Freddy, I think..."

Freddy nodded.

"And eh, this one I've just been calling Rab-bot." Bonnie waved to Pierce.

"That one is err... Ducky?"

"That's clearly a chicken, Boss," Pierce objected.

"Chickens don't have bills, Pierce."

"Ducks have webbed feet, ass-hole!"

"Let's just ask her. Hey, are you a duck or a chicken?" The Boss asked Chica.

"Let's eat!" Chica happily responded.

"There ya go. Ducks always wanna eat bread, so clearly she's a duck."

"Man, whatever."

"And last, there's the pirate guy here. Uh, I think he's a wolf?"

Foxy shrieked.

"A dog?"

Foxy shrieked.

"A fox?"

"_Yo ho ho, and a bottle of rum!"_

"The fuck does that mean?" Pierce asked.

"I think it means 'yes'," The Boss speculated aloud.

"So then, what the fuck were y'all doin'?"

"Oh, we were gonna stuff you into that Freddy costume over there."

"What?! Man, hell no! Fuck this, I'm outta here," Pierce stood up, and started walking.

"C'mon Pierce, you lost the game. You gotta follow the rules!"

"Fuck yo' game! Man, have fun with your new job, freaky-ass killer robots," Pierce stormed out of the room, "and who left this ugly yellow motherfucker lying around out here?!"

The Boss chuckled, "Well, we didn't get to stuff him in a suit, but that was fun. I like you guys. How'd you like to get out of here and join the Saints?" she proposed to the machines. They all looked to each other and shrugged for a bit, and then Freddy nodded.

"Edasurc ruoy ni nioj ot ronoh ym eb dluow ti, Madam tseraed," Freddy said, in deep garbled nonsense.

"I'll take that as a yes!"


	2. A Pirate's Life for Me

**For the record, I am fully aware that Chica is supposed to be a chicken.**

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><p>The Boss opened the front doors of Freddy's and left the building with all four animatronics. It was a little past 5 AM, and the sun was just beginning to rise. She led the group to her massive purple four-door truck, with gold spinning rims that confused the hell out of the robots if they stared at them too long. The truck was big enough that it could normally hold 5 people in all the seats, however the animatronics were a bit too big to get all of them seated, so one had to sit back in the bed of the truck. Freddy, being the stoic leader of the group, volunteered, whilst Bonnie and Chica sat in the back seat, and Foxy in the front passenger seat. However, Freddy was not aware of how poor of a driver The Boss was, and soon regretted his selflessness once The Boss put the truck in gear, and slammed on the gas. Once The Boss had set her GPS, whilst driving and not looking at the road, she became exasperated remembering just how far Freddy's was from the Saints' HQ. She leaned her head out the window to talk to Freddy.<p>

"Yo Freddy!" she shouted into the wind, "The trip's takin' longer than expected! I'm gonna turn on the NOS, so you better hold on tight!"

Freddy's robotic eyes widened as far as they could, and he grabbed on to either side of the truck, his fingers gripping so hard that he actually punctured holes in the truck's hull. Whilst Freddy was clinging for dear robo-life in the back, The Boss decided to pass the time by singing sea shanties with Foxy.

_"Yo ho! Yo ho! A pirate's life for me!"_ The two sang in unison.

"Ha ha ha ha," The Boss giggled, "You're a pretty cool guy Patchwork. I always did love pirates." Foxy turned to her and tilted his head in a twitchy manner. "Oh, 'Patchwork?' Well, I don't know your real name, and you're all patchy, with your metal bits sticking out, so I came up with that name," she explained, "The Dread Pirate, Cap'n Patchwork!" she said in a piratey accent.

_"Drink up, me hearties! Yo ho!"_ Foxy sang in response.

"Hmhm, maybe a little later."

The truck drove through an alleyway, and made a grinding halt at a run down old building. A big neon sign reading "PURGATORY" hung over an elevator entrance to the building. Freddy slowly pried his hands from the side of the truck and stumbled his way to the ground. The other animatronics got out of the truck, and Bonnie helped Freddy keep to his feet. The group walked into the elevator, and headed down. The doors opened to a swanky underground hotel, fully equiped with bright lights, stripper poles, and a beautiful statue of an angel holding two pistols.

"Ediser Stnias detnionna ylnevaeh erehw, Dog fo esuoh a si siht?" Freddy pondered aloud.

"You got somethin' to say, Top-hat?" The Boss asked Freddy. Freddy shook his head. "Okay, well if you need something, try to find a way to communicate it so that people will understand what the fuck you're sayin', 'cause what you're doing right now ain't really workin' out."

The Boss lead the animatronics down to the main floor, where the bulk of the Saints were partying. She turned around to address the machines. "Alright, so I may have forgot to mention this," she started, "but before you can officially join the Saints, you gotta be 'canonized.'"

She whistled to get everyone's attention, not that she didn't already have a lot of people's attention, bringing in a bunch of creepy robots after all. The Saints quit their partying and assembled before The Boss and her new friends. "Saints, we got some new blood that needs to be 'canonized.' Now these friendly machines here are good friends of mine, so you better not go easy on 'em, understand?"

The crowd was mixed, with some wholly okay with 'canonizing' these robots, and some looking hesitant or nervous, some even genuinely frightened. "Patchwork, since I like you best, why don't you go first?"

Foxy took a twitchy look at The Boss for a moment, then took a few slow twitchy steps forward. The Saints took their places surrounding the pirate fox, and then the 'canonizing' began. One of the thugs punched Foxy right in the chest, but Foxy didn't even flinch. Foxy lifted his hook-hand into the air, and thrust it downward, into the thug's shoulder. The thug cried out as Foxy lifted him using nothing but his hook, until the thug's face was staring Foxy straight into his slack jaw. Then Foxy shrieked as loud as he could at the terrified thug, the thug screaming right along with him. Once Foxy had sufficiently frightened the poor Saint, he tossed him loose from his hook, and into a group of Saints waiting their turn. Foxy shrieked, as if a battle-cry, as he raised his hook threateningly into the sky.

"I'll keel-haul the lot of ye!" Foxy declared with his tinny, gravelly pirate voice.

The rest of the Saints dared not to move. The Boss applauded. "That was fucking amazing!" she said with excitement, "Just what I'd expect of a bad-ass pirate!" Foxy slowly lowered his hook, realizing the fight was over. "Patchwork, come with me. I got a job for ya. You guys can handle the rest of the canonizing without me, right?" then she and Foxy left, without waiting to hear a reply.

"How'd you like to do some plunderin' with me?" The Boss asked Foxy as they walked back to the elevator. "Yaharrr, matey!" Foxy replied. They walked into the Elevator, and The Boss pushed the button to rise. "You guys are pretty fun, but your voice-boxes sound like shit. I was thinkin' of ordering a new sound system online," she explained. The elevator doors opened, and they walked to her truck, "But then I remembered, 'Hey, I'm a gangsta, and this mothafucka's a pirate. We should go pillagin' and plunderin' for our loot!'" They opened the doors and got into the truck. "So, whatchyu think, Patchwork? Wanna get some treasure?"

Foxy's eyes narrowed, as if he were attempting a smile, _"Yo ho ho, and a bottle of rum!"_

"That's what I like to hear!" she reached into her jacket and pulled out a sawed-off shotgun, and tossed it to Foxy, who caught it in his good hand. He looked at it oddly for a while. "I hope I don't have to tell you how to use that thing." Foxy adjusted his grip to hold it correctly.

The electronics store was already in view in the morning light. The Boss pulled out her revolver in preparation. "Hold on to your seat. This might get a little bumpy." She drove full speed into the store, crashing through the glass sliding-doors, and drifting to a stop in the middle of the room. The two kicked open their doors and walked out of the truck. The Boss fired off a few shots into the ceiling. "Nobody fuckin' move! This is a robbery!" she announced to the room. Foxy shrieked, making sure that his presence was known as well. The Boss walked over to one of the clerks, who stood with his hands in the air. "Hey, you guys wouldn't happen to have any speakers that'd fit in a robot. About his size?" she politely asked the clerk. "Y-yeah, we got lots like that," the clerk told her, nervously. "Perfect! I need four sets of your most bad-ass speakers in that size, then. Oh, and by the way, where is the manager's office?" The clerk pointed to a door around the back of the store. "Excellent. Yo, Patchwork, while we're robbing this place, we may as well take some money, too. Go to the manager, and make him empty the vault for us."

"Arrr, shiver me timbers!" Foxy responded. He looked around a bit to find the manager's office, and once he had pin-pointed it, made a mad dash toward the door. He slammed the door open, breaking the doorknob in the process, and shrieked, giving the manager quite a startle. The manager was a middle-aged woman with graying hair, and a tacky yellow plaid suit. She was confused and terrified when she saw Foxy. Foxy pointed his shotgun at her. "Yaharr! I be here fer ya booty!" Foxy announced. "Wh-what? My booty? Y-you mean the safe?" Foxy nodded in a twitchy sort of way.

Meanwhile, back in the show-room, the employees had managed to find four of their most expensive speakers that would fit in a robot, and bring them to The Boss. The Boss looked them over carefully. "Oh ho, these are pretty nice. I think a few of my cars have these," she noted. "Eh heh, if that's all, can we go?" one of the employees asked nervously. "Not quite yet. Could you be a doll and load these speakers into the bed of that truck?" The store employees complied, not wanting to upset the pretty psychopath with a gun. Once they were all loaded up, The Boss decided to go over to the manager's office to check up on Foxy.

When she got to the manager's office, she saw Foxy kneeling in front of the safe with a bag of money at his side. He appeared to be stuffing something back into the safe. "Yo, Patchwork! Whatcha doin' there?" Foxy turned around, a little startled by her, and when he moved The Boss got a clear view of the safe. Foxy had forcefully stuffed the manager into the safe, her body contorted in a way that could not possibly be survivable. "Ech, that's pretty fucked up, Patchwork," she commented with a slight tinge of disgust, "Just the way a real pirate should be!" she winked to Foxy.

All of a sudden, police sirens could be heard outside. The two stood up. "Shit, sounds like someone hit the silent alarm. We got what we came here for, Patchy, so grab the money and let's get out of here!" Foxy hooked onto the money bag with his right hook, and grabbed his shotgun with his left hand, and followed The Boss back to the truck.

"You may want to roll your window down, that way we can get some cover fire," The Boss said as she started up the truck. Foxy, not knowing how to work the car window, decided to just punch through the glass. "I guess that's fine, too. Eh, I can get it replaced easy enough."

The Boss slammed the pedal to the floor, and the truck smashed through the doorway, and through the police barricade. The police gave chase, so Foxy leaned out of the window and opened fire on them. It didn't do much good, though, as the police cars had reinforced windshields. "Here, give 'em some o' this," The Boss handed Foxy a few hand-grenades. Foxy simultaneously pulled all of their pins with his hook, and tossed them out the window. "Ye mangy bilge-rats!" he shouted as the grenades detonated, clearing out the pursuing cops. The Boss kept driving around for a bit, to make sure that they'd really lost the cops, until she was satisfied, and slowed the truck down.

"Whew, that was awesome!" she exclaimed in mild exhaustion. "What's say we celebrate our catch with a drink?"

The two stopped at the nearest night-club they could find. It was a really clean and pristine place, with lots of neon lights, and a disco-styled dance floor. Certainly not the kind of place one would drunkenly sing sea-shanties in. Not normally, anyways.

_"Way hay an' up she rises! Way hay an' up she rises! Way hay an' up she rises, Earl-i in the mornin'!"_ They drunkenly sang as techno music blared in the background. "Yo, bartender," The Boss sputtered, "We need more drinks!"

"What'll it be?" the bartender asked with a discontent expression.

_"Yo ho ho, and a bottle of rum!"_ Foxy proclaimed.

"And the lady?"

"Pffft, did you hear that, Patches? He called me a lady!" she said with bashfulness she could only emote in her current drunken stupor. "I'll have what he's having..." she trailed off.

The Boss's phone rang. She pulled it out of her pocket to see. It was a call from Gat. "Hey Johnny, wasssssup?" she said in a sing-song manner.

"Hey, Boss. Listen, I just got back to the base, and we found some dead bodies lying around... and a few robots... uhh, and a couple of Saints crying in the corners. Pierce seems to think you had something to do with this."

"Woops," she giggled, "I almost forgot about the canonizing... I'll be right over... be nice to my robot buddies!"

"Sure thing, Boss."

The Boss and Foxy stumbled back to the truck. The Boss drove back to Purgatory, which was probably a bad idea in her state, and she ended up running over a lot of pedestrians, but eventually she found her way back to the base. She stumbled her way in, and fell over in front of Gat.

"Boss? Have you been drinkin'?" Gat asked.

"Eeyup."

"Well, y'think you could get up and tell us what the fuck's goin' on here with the dead bodies and the robots?"

"Okaaaay"

Gat helped her to her feet, and walked her over to the couch, with Foxy following behind, where Pierce, Shaundi, and the animatronics were waiting.

"Right... so," she rubbed her groggy face, "these guys just finished getting canonized. They're new members of our gang," she explained.

"I can't believe you brought these freaky-ass robots home with you!" Pierce exclaimed.

"Sh-shut the fuck up, Pierce," The Boss stuttered. "Anywayzz, I gotta introduce you guysh. That one's Freddy Fuzball,"

"Ecnetniauqca ruoy ekam ot demrahc," Freddy said in his usual garbled nonsense.

"That one'zz Ducky,"

"Let's Eat!" Chica said excitedly.

"Thish purple mo'fucka right here... he'zz so purple, 'slike he was made to be a Saint... tha's Rab-bot,"

Bonnie waved.

"And 'dis scurvy scallywag over here iss ma' good friend Cap'n Patchwork!"

_"Drink up, me hearties! Yo ho!"_ Foxy sang.

"And we gon' turn 'dese robots inta bangers!" The Boss proclaimed with enthusiasm.

Everyone in the room stared at The Boss with a confused expression.


	3. Dreaming of Gold

**A brief chapter before we move on with the plot. I may or may not do more of these quick chapters.**

**Quick warning, this chapter will not be funny, and it's not supposed to be.**

* * *

><p>The Boss was resting her eyes in her office at Purgatory for a moment. She nodded back awake when she noticed something strange. For the first time since she and Johnny had recruited the new gang, Purgatory was totally silent. She got up out of her chair and wandered about.<p>

She looked all around the underground club-house. There was nobody there. No Saints, no strippers, no robots, no squatters. The boombox downstairs wasn't even on. She walked over and turned the boombox on. It was set to an opera station, a boisterous man's voice was singing the Toreador March.

"I'm not feelin' this Opera-shit," she said to herself, and attempted to change the station. However, no matter how much she turned the nob to try and get a new station, the boombox kept playing that one song. She got frustrated with it, and decided to just turn it off, however, the boombox wouldn't do that either. After getting frustrated with that shit, she decided to lift the boombox overhead and smash it to pieces against the hard floor. As she stomped on it, she caught sight of something slumped over against the stripper pole in the center of the room.

She approached it. It was an ugly yellow Freddy Fazbear, with its eyes missing. As The Boss walked closer, she noted its horrid smell. "Ew. Freddy, you smell like shit. What the fuck've you been getting into?" she said as she got up close to it. The bear turned its head to look at her, but not in the usual robotic way that the animatronics moved. It moved as though it were a living breathing human. "Freddy?" She asked, getting right up in its face.

The yellow Freddy swiftly grabbed the Boss by her throat, and lifted her up as it arose to its feet. "You ready for this, playa?" a deep, familiar voice said as it choked The Boss. The Boss kicked the monstrosity in its face repeatedly in an attempt to get free, until it eventually tossed her halfway across the room. She gasped for breath for a few moments as the monster stalked toward her. She pulled out her revolver, and shot at it repeatedly. Every single bullet bounced off of its shell, as if she were just flicking paperclips at it.

"That won't work. You already killed me once, nigga. You really think your little pea-shooter can kill the dead?!"

"Get the fuck outta here, Julius! I own the Saints! I own this city!"

"You ain't nothin' but a thug, playa. I made a mistake takin' you in. Now I'm gonna take you out."

The Boss ran back up the stairs, but Julius-bear appeared before her at the top. "Never figured you the type to run away, playa." She scowled, uppercutting Julius-bear's mask right off. Underneath the mask was a cracked skull, with a bullet-hole through the temple, and maggots crawling around all over. She ran past and continued to run away, into the armory, where she locked the door behind her. She ran over to her weapon stash, and dug around a bit until she found her RPG. Julius-bear appeared in the room, his mask back on. He hadn't even opened the door.

"You think you can kill me with mere explosives, nigga?!"

She pointed the RPG at Julius-bear. "I'd say it's worth a shot."

"Look at me, playa! I'm a God-damn poltergeist! And I'm gonna end you, playa. I'm gonna end your destructive tirade!"

"Shut the fuck up, Julius!" she fired the rocket at him, blowing up Julius-bear, and knocking the lights out in the rooms.

She breathed a heavy sigh of relief as she leaned up against the wall. "This ain't over, playa," Julius-bear said, appearing directly behind her. She tried to react, but before she could, Julius-bear grabbed onto her, and roared an ear-piercing roar, as it choked her.

* * *

><p>Just then, she woke up in a cold sweat in her bed, with Bonnie standing over her, staring with his black emotionless eyes. She rubbed her head, still hung-over from all the drinking the day before. "Eeugh... Whatchu want, Rab-bot?"<p>

Bonnie stepped closer, and gave The Boss a hug. "Don't be scared, we're your friends." Bonnie said in a comforting tone. The Boss felt a little better in Bonnie's arms.

"Thanks..."


	4. It's a kind of magic

Freddy, Bonnie, and Chica had just recently gotten out of the shop. The Boss had the new sound-systems installed into them so they'd sound better, and while they were in the shop, she made minor repairs and modifications to them. They all had their bolts tightened, and joints oiled. Freddy had his top-hat painted purple, as well as his bow-tie. Chica had the font on her bib changed to that which you'd see the "Saints Row" title in, and it was given purple borders, though it still said "Let's Eat!" Bonnie was already purple, so The Boss just gave him a chain-necklace with a gold Saints' Fleur pendant on it.

Foxy, however, was still in the shop. When The Boss and her mechanic opened up Foxy, they had found that a lot of his joints had rusted over, many of the connecting bolts were loose and/or broken, and bits of his endoskeleton were missing here and there. Foxy needed far more repairs than any of the others. The Boss had made it her personal mission to not only see to Foxy's repairs, but to modify and improve him to be the baddest pirate on the seven seas. After all, if the Saints are going to expand someplace outside of Stilwater, what better place than the vast blue ocean?

Since the custom parts she needed were taking a while to get there, and she couldn't exactly find an "Animatronics Parts store" to rob, she ended up spending a lot more time lounging around in Purgatory while she waited. Eventually, she got a phone call from Troy, the Chief of Police.

"You mind telling me what the hell's going on?" Troy asked in an irritated tone.

"About what?" The Boss asked.

"About the manager of an electronics store being forcefully stuffed into a tiny vault..."

"Oh yeah, I remember that," The Boss reminisced.

"The media is all over my ass about this case. Now you may be a little crazy at times, but I know you didn't do this. This is straight up serial-killer shit."

"Huh, yeah he probably is, now that I think about it," The Boss realized.

"So, if you hand over the guy who did this, the media will ease off of me, and I'll be able to ease off of the Saints in return."

"Aww, you'd do that for little ol' me?"

"Just hand him over, and you have my word. Eye-witness reports say he's a 'tall, twitchy man, with a lot of body hair.'"

"That's not quite right," The Boss audibly chuckled. "Sorry to say, Troy, but you can't have him. He's mine."

"What?! Oh my God, are you fucking him?" Troy asked in disbelief.

"No! I'm pretty sure he doesn't even have the parts for that... though he is in the shop right now, I could order those up... Nah, the pistons would be too rough on me."

"What the fuck are you talking about?!" Troy shouted over the phone.

"Robots, Troy. I have some new animal-shaped-robot-buddies."

"Robots..." Troy repeated after her, unamused.

"Mhmm,"

"You're saying that robots stuffed the manager into the safe."

"No, just one. The others were back at the base."

"What am I supposed to tell these goddamn reporters? That a killer-robot is on the loose?"

"How should I know, Troy? You're the cop. Make something up. Frame someone. I don't know."

Pierce walked into The Boss's office. "Listen, Troy, I gotta go. I'll talk to you later," she hung up the phone. "What's up, Pierce?"

"I'm here to cash in on that lunch you owe me," Pierce said with smug self-confidence.

"Huh," The Boss tried to remember, "Oh right, for the security thing. Here," The Boss pulled a wad of cash out of her pocket, and walked over to Pierce. She held the cash over Pierce's shoulder, which confused him, until he looked behind, and saw Freddy standing directly behind him. Pierce jumped back and yelped as Freddy took the wad of cash. "How the fuck long has he been standing there?"

"He's been there literally the entire time you have," The Boss told her scared friend, "Freddy, you go with Pierce wherever he wants for lunch, 'kay?" Freddy nodded.

"Woah, hold up. I thought I was going witchyu!" Pierce protested.

"I said I'd buy you lunch, Pierce. I never said I'd go with you," she reminded him, "besides, I still need to watch over Patchwork's repairs."

"Man, this some ol' bullshit," Pierce complained. "Why'd you even bring back these freaky motherfuckers in the first place?"

"You ever see that movie, Terminator? I always thought that robot was such a bad-ass, how he'd just kill bitches like it wasn't no thing. Then the sequel came out, and they were like 'Noo, Terminator, you can't kill people!' Fuckin' worst sequel ever."

"Terminator 2 was about a machine learnin' the value of human life! It was way better than the first one!"

"Whatever you say Pierce. All I'm saying is that I'm not gonna let our robots pussy out like that. Oh, and before I forget, I added some new songs to all the robots, to try and help them communicate. If any of them start singing 'Gangsta Bitch,' that means they want to see me, and I gave Freddy every Queen song in existence."

"Why the hell'd you do somethin' like that?"

"Because his name's Freddy, duh," The Boss stated as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"But I like Queen!" Pierce continued to protest.

"Then what's the problem? Go on, go have fun with Freddy."

"But he's like some movie monster, the way he goes around killin' people."

"So? Last week, I saw you hangin' out with Carlos. You didn't seem to have a problem with him," The Boss reminded him.

"Man, that's different! Carlos is like family to us!"

"Carlos eats people's brains, Pierce. Freddy doesn't eat people... I don't think."

"You're just fillin' me with confidence, the way you say that," Pierce quipped sarcastically.

"Just get the fuck out, already! I got shit to do!"

"Man..." Pierce muttered under his breath, as he turned around and walked to the elevator, Freddy following close behind.

_"Tonight, I'm gonna have myself a real good time~"_ Freddy sang to Pierce.

"At least one of us will."

* * *

><p>The two got into Pierce's Humvee and went on their way. Freddy stared at Pierce the entire time he was driving, making him extraordinarily uncomfortable. "Stop staring at me! Damn!" Pierce blurted out as he drove. Freddy, realizing he was making his new friend uncomfortable, diverted his attention over to the road. They stopped at a very fancy and expensive restaurant in the Saints Row district. The kind that only rich people in movies eat at. The kind Pierce had always dreamed of one day being able to afford eating at. Though, the creepy robot bear accompanying him sort of spoiled the fantasy a bit.<p>

When they entered the building, the hostess looked at the two of them with bemusement. "Welcome, do you have a reservation?" she asked with a tinge of condescension.

"Shit, I didn't know this was that kinda place," Pierce said, disappointed that he didn't call ahead.

"If you don't have a reservation, then I'm going to have to ask you to leave," she informed the two. Pierce, in his disappointment was just about to leave, when Freddy approached the hostess and slyly handed her a hundred dollar bill. "Oh! Right this way, gentlemen," she said, changing her attitude a little, though still condescending. She lead them to a window-side table, and handed them both menus. "My name is Karen, and I'll be your hostess today. Why don't you look over those menus for a while, and I'll be back shortly."

Karen left to do whatever, as Pierce and Freddy looked over their menus. The menus were very minimalistic, without pictures, just a list of the various foods they had to offer. "Hey Freddy, are you even able to eat?" Pierce asked out of curiosity. Freddy looked up, and nodded to his companion. "How's that work? Did The Boss give you a robo-stomach while you were in the shop?"

"Laem ruo yojne ot yrt tsuj dna, smsinahcem ym fo seitilibapac lacigoloib ro lacigoloisyhp eht no snoitseuq ksa ton ew taht tseb si ti, edarmoc raed ym," Freddy said in deep nonsense, though it wasn't garbled anymore, thanks to his new speakers.

"What?" Pierce asked, scratching his head. Freddy just shrugged in response.

Karen came back with a notepad in hand, ready to take the order. "So, what will you be having?"

"Uhh..." Pierce looked over his menu, not really knowing what anything was, so he just said the thing on the menu that sounded fanciest, "I'll have the caviar."

"Oh? I didn't peg you as the caviar type," she said, again with that condescending tone. "And you, Mr. Bear?"

Freddy pointed to an item on the menu. "The Duckling a L'orange?" Freddy nodded. "Excellent choice, Mr. Bear." She took their menus, and walked away.

Pierce looked around the restaurant, and saw that all the snooty rich people were staring at them, and whispering about them. Pierce felt embarrassed, and out of place, especially since he wasn't exactly dressed to impress, wearing a sports jersey and baseball cap as he usually does. The embarrassment was only compounded by the fact that he had to be accompanied by an eight foot tall robot bear in a top-hat. If anybody else had told him to escort a creepy robot around town, he'd have told them to go fuck themself, but the truth was, he kind of liked it when The Boss cared enough about him to bully him.

Karen came back with two entreés in hand. To Freddy, she served a delicious looking roast duck with little orange slices adorning it all over. To Pierce, she served a bowl full of slimy black beady things, with a weird looking spoon to accompany it. "Enjoy," she said with sarcasm, before wandering off once again.

Freddy immediately started digging into the duck, cutting gently and evenly with his knife, and eating it one piece at a time. Every time he took a bite, he closed his eyes, and made a face vaguely resembling satisfaction.

Pierce just stared at his bowl of black stuff with disgust, as well as jealousy toward Freddy, for apparently being knowledgable about high-class food. "How the hell's he even know about this stuff? He lives in a damn pizza-joint!" Pierce thought to himself.

Freddy finished his duck. After he had finished, he noticed that Pierce hadn't taken a single bite out of his caviar. Freddy tilted his head in confusion. Pierce noticed Freddy looking at him, and quickly came up with an excuse, "Uhh, I just realized that I'm really cravin' some Freckle Bitch's. Let's get outta here," Pierce said, quickly getting up and making his way to the door. Freddy left some money on the table, with a little extra as a tip, and followed Pierce out.

When they had gotten to Freckle Bitch's, Pierce ordered a cheeseburger, and ate it at one of the outside tables. The tasty junk food made him feel a little better. All of a sudden, the two noticed a kid with his mother yelling excitedly. "Mommy! Mommy! Look! It's Freddy!"

"Wow, look at that! You want to go say hello?" The mother said to the little boy.

"Can I? Can I, please?" the boy asked with so much excitement, it seemed like he was about to explode.

"Sure, let's say 'hi' together."

As the two approached, Freddy got out of his chair to walk over to them. Pierce watched him, as he enjoyed his burger.

"Hey there little guy!" Freddy said in a warm and cheerful voice with a faint southern accent. Pierce had almost forgotten he had a voice that wasn't deep nonsense, or Queen.

"H-hi, F-F-Freddy!" the boy said, suddenly becoming a little shy.

"What's your name, friend?" Freddy asked.

"J-J-Johnny."

"And have you been having a fun day?"

"Y-yeah!"

"That's wonderful! Would ya like to see a trick?"

"Y-yes sir!"

Freddy stood up, and pulled off one of his buttons. "As you can see, the button is in my right hand," he showed Johnny and his mother the button in his right hand. He then closed his hand, and shuffled the button between his hands behind his back, then brought his hands back to his front. "Now, pick a hand."

Johnny picked the right hand, which Freddy opened to reveal was empty. "Aww," Johnny said with disappointment. "Keep goin'!" Freddy ushered the boy. So Johnny picked the left hand, and Freddy opened it to reveal a brand new Freddy Fazbear plush, which he handed to Johnny. Johnny hugged the plush tightly, "Thanks Freddy!" he said excitedly.

Freddy tipped his hat, letting the button he took off fall out, and back into his hand. "No problem, sport!" Freddy hugged the boy, "And you have a Freddy-rific day!" Freddy waved to the boy, as he and his mother walked away, and into the Freckle Bitch's. Pierce, who had just finished his cheeseburger, walked up next to Freddy. "That was pretty cool," Pierce complimented, "How'd you do it?"

Freddy looked to Pierce with a smile, _"It's a kind of magic,"_ he sang.

* * *

><p>That night, back in Purgatory, after The Boss had been working long and hard all day, she and her trusty mechanic, who shall not be named, had finally completed their difficult goal. She rallied everyone to the main-room as she prepared for the big reveal, with the animatronics getting front seats, since her big project was one of their friends, after all.<p>

"Ladies and gentlemen, after days of hard work and dedication, and a whole lot of whiskey breaks, maybe too many, we bring you the pinnacle in Saints technology," The Boss announced to the full room, "Introducing, the machine that will lead the forefront in our sea-faring conquest, new and improved, I bring you: The Dread Pirate, Cap'n Patchwork!"

Foxy walked out from behind the curtain, for all to see. He was wearing a black coat, with a matching black sailor's hat. His endoskeleton had been given shiny bronze finish, making him look rustic and bad-ass. The endoskeleton itself had been plated and water-tightened, so he could now safely be submerged in water. His hook had been replaced with a shiny new stainless-steel hook, and a new mechanism had been built into his right arm, so that his hook could be fired and used as a grappling hook. His jaw still hung low, though that was just for appearance, and it had actually been reinforced with a steel bear-trap. His eyes had been given extra details, so they looked permanently blood-shot and mean, with a bright yellow back-light installed, to give his eyes an eery, ghostly glow. His eye-patch had a purple Saints' Fleur embroidered on it. His Foxy costume itself, however, was still rather patchy, still leaving much of his shiny bronze endoskeleton exposed. The Boss did this intentionally, as she felt his patchy appearance accentuated his piratey charm. Finally, Foxy had been given a cutlass, which hung at his right side, and a blunderbuss, strapped to his back, both fully functional and deadly.

Freddy, Bonnie, and Chica applauded, happy to see their old friend finally back in shape. Foxy raised his hook to the sky, and shrieked with joy. Finally, their group was back in their prime.


	5. Bonnie & Donnie

The Boss and Gat were lounging around in Purgatory, drinking a few beers whilst watching a stripper work her stuff, and reminiscing on the days of old. They talked of all the fun times they had taking out the Vice Kings, robbing a casino, fighting with swords. Eventually they started talking about all the people they had killed, and that segued into all the people they _hadn't_ killed.

"Hey, you still going after Troy?" The Boss asked.

"Nah, it wouldn't feel right. Seems like you two made up, and he's been pretty lenient on the Saints. I don't like him, but I suppose I can try and move on," Johnny responded, thinking back on the days when he was the only Saint left, making numerous attempts at Troy's life, until eventually getting arrested, and sentenced to death row. For about 5 seconds, anyway, until The Boss showed up, fresh out of her coma, to rescue him.

The Boss sipped her beer, thinking back some more. "You remember that punk-ass mechanic?" she asked.

"I met a lot of punk-ass mechanics in my time. You're gonna have to be more specific than that."

"That punk-ass mechanic who worked for the West-Side Rollerz. You remember?"

"Oh shit, right, that punk-ass mechanic. What was his name? ...Donnie?" Gat recalled.

"That's the one. I hear he's running a garage over in the Barrio. Seems he's doing pretty good for himself."

"You put that guy through a lot of shit. I'm surprised he didn't skip town after what you did to the Brotherhood."

"He probably has it out for me. Maybe we should pay him a visit at his new garage?" The Boss suggested.

"No need. Like you said, he's a punk-ass. He ain't gonna come after the Saints. Besides, we got bigger fish to fry, remember?" Gat reminded her.

"Oh right, _him_. Oh, I've got somethin' special in mind for _him_," The Boss grinned a most evil grin.

"Fuckin' A," the two tipped their bottles together, and took another swig.

Throughout their entire conversation, Bonnie had been watching from behind, eavesdropping in the shadows. Intent on a new mission, Bonnie silently departed from Purgatory, without anybody's notice.

* * *

><p>It was the afternoon, and Donnie had been working hard all day. One of his employees called him out to the front. "What is it?" Donnie asked.<p>

"There's this weird lookin' rabbit thing across the street," Donnie's worker said, pointing out Bonnie standing across the street, staring at them intently.

"What about it?" Donnie asked.

"I think it's a robot. If we brought it in, we could scrap it. It's probably got some good parts on it," he said to his boss.

Donnie looked at it, standing over there, just staring at him. Donnie noticed its Saints' Fleur pendant, making him cringe. "Word to the wise, stay away from the Saints," Donnie said to his employee.

"But-..."

"Leave it! We don't need to risk it," Donnie yelled back, as he walked back to his office. "I'm gonna take a nap. Wake me if anything comes up."

And so, Donnie lounged back in his office chair, and rested his eyes. His garage was quite a bit larger than it used to be, thanks to how successful he was these days. His office had two doors, one that lead straight into the work-shop, which had two windows around it, so he could easily keep watch on his workers while he was in the office, and one door that lead to the hallway, which lead to various rooms, like bathrooms, a rec. room, and the file room, where he kept tab of all the expense reports and bills and whatnot. Of course, the hallway could then circle back into the work-shop, if one really wanted to. That door had a little window on it, marked "Donnie's Office."

Donnie had slept for much longer than he intended. By the time he awoke, it was already midnight, and all of his crew had gone home for the day. He was all alone. Just him, and a robotic rabbit.

"Huh?" Donnie grunted, noticing Bonnie on his security feed. The work-shop was too dark, so he couldn't see it from his window, but his security cameras had night-vision mode, letting him see the bunny in the dark. "I thought I told them to leave it alone. Damn it." He was about to get up, when he saw from the security cam that Bonnie was no longer in the work-shop. He was now standing in the hallway, staring at the security camera with his black, soulless gaze. "How did it..." all of a sudden, the hall camera went black. Donnie stared intently at the security footage, but he couldn't find the rabbit anywhere. Then he looked back to the hall-door, and saw Bonnie staring at him, through the small window.

Getting a little frightened, Donnie walked over and locked the hall-way door, Bonnie's gaze never once leaving him as he did it. After he had locked the door, Bonnie sped away, almost faster than the eye could see. Donnie ran back to his security cams. Bonnie was back in the work-shop. He was standing next to Donnie's car, with the hood opened. Donnie nervously watched on, as Bonnie proceeded to reach in, and rip out his car's whole engine with one hand. Bonnie then looked back to the camera. There was a sudden flash on the camera, a still frame of Bonnie's eyeless face, and then he disappeared. Before Donnie could even think of where Bonnie might be, he saw him, standing at the garage window, staring with those emotionless black eyes. Donnie scurried over and locked the garage-door as well, Bonnie once again watching him the whole way. Donnie then backed away from the door slowly, terrified of whatever this thing that stalked him was.

Bonnie pulled out his electric guitar from behind. Donnie hadn't even noticed it had one before now. It began to play a haunting tune, without melody or rhythm. It sounded as though the guitar was wailing in pain.

"Wha- What are you doing?" Donnie asked, his voice quivering erratically, as his heartbeat skyrocketed.

The wretched wailing of the guitar seemed to form into words.

_"Do you think yourself safe behind this door?_

_ I find your defenses rather poor._

_ So now that I have begun to bore,_

_ I shall end your struggle, Forever more,"_

Bonnie's riffing taunted the helpless little man.

Donnie, panicking, ran behind his desk, and reached into his desk drawer, pulling out a pistol. He pointed the gun at the window, where Bonnie was standing, but by the time he looked back up, Bonnie was already gone.

Donnie heard a low moaning from within the office. He looked around, and saw that the hall-door was somehow wide open. Donnie's eyes teared up. "No... why...?"

He turned around, and there was Bonnie, standing directly before him. Before Donnie could even say anything, Bonnie jumped on him, and screeched the most horrible sound he had ever heard.

* * *

><p>Two days later, at the police station. The cops had just gotten around to checking the security footage of that night, while investigating the murder.<p>

"Chief!" an officer, running into Troy's office.

"What is it? I'm busy," Troy said dismissively.

"There's something you gotta see, in regards to the murder of that mechanic!"

Troy got up out of his seat, and followed the officer. "This had better be good," Troy mumbled.

Troy watched the little TV with his fellow officers, and watched the tape. The footage was of the work-shop area. Donnie had been tossed through the window and into the work-shop. He fired off three shots at his off-screen assailant. Then, Bonnie quickly strode over to him, barely affected by the tiny little gun, and grabbed him by the arm. Bonnie then forcefully bent his forearm back, breaking the bones, and causing Donnie to drop his gun. Donnie looked to be screaming in agony, though the footage didn't record sound, and he tried to crawl away with his good arm. Then, Bonnie grabbed him by the legs, and threw him into the open hood of his own car. Bonnie walked over, and then picked up the engine that was left on the floor, with one hand, and proceeded to forcibly put it back in its place, crushing Donnie to death underneath.

Bonnie then turned around, and stared into the camera. A loud screech came out of the TV, and then the footage cut off. Troy stood there, dumbstruck by what he had just witnessed.

"Chief? What do we do about-..."

"Just-..." Troy interrupted, "Just leave me alone, right now. I-... I need to collect my thoughts," Troy said with an exasperated expression, as he walked back to his office.

When he got back to his office, the first thing he did was call up the Saints' Boss.

After a few rings, The Boss answered her phone, "'Sup, Troy?"

"Some fuckin' robots, huh?" Troy said with a stressed voice.

"Uh, yeah, I got some robots. What about 'em?"

"You know anything about a big fuckin' bunny-rabbit crushing a man to death with a car-engine?!" Troy asked, almost demanding the information from her.

"Who, Rab-bot? Nah, Rab-bot's harmless. It's Patchwork and Freddy ya gotta watch out for. Whatchyu talkin' about, anyway?"

"Two days ago, a mechanic was murdered in his own shop. You know him. Donnie, that punk-ass kid who used to run with the Rollerz," Troy explained.

"Yeah, I think I remember him."

"When we looked over the security footage, we saw a big fuckin' bunny-rabbit break his arm, and then crush him to death with a car engine."

"And you think I had something to do with it?" The Boss asked.

"That's what I'm trying to find out."

"Rab-bot's usually watching me from some corner, or while I'm sleeping, I think. He is a sneaky one, though. Who knows when, or if, he left."

"So, you're saying it could've been him?"

"I'm not saying it _couldn't_ be him, but I really don't think Rab-bot's the type for that," The Boss clarified.

"I swear, this is the most fucked up thing I've ever seen. And it's only gonna make the nightmares worse," Troy moaned.

"You've been having nightmares, recently?" The Boss asked.

"What do you care?"

"Just humor me," The Boss insisted.

"Yeah, I've been having nightmares. Dreams of being stalked through the station by a big yellow bear. I can't escape it. Every time I try to find a place to hide, or run away, he's already there," Troy confided.

"Troy," The Boss paused, "is the bear... Julius?"

Troy stopped for a moment, shocked to hear the words come out of her mouth. "How the fuck did you know that?!"

The Boss, apparently satisfied with his answer, hung up on him. Troy slammed the phone back down, and rubbed his face in frustration. He had hoped that calling The Boss would help him bring some kind of closure, or meaning to all of this, but he just ended up with even more questions.

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed that! I wrote this chapter because I felt bad that I didn't have anything planned for Bonnie to do in the plot, other than play a minor support role. Since Bonnie's actually my favorite of the Fazbear Four, I felt the need to rectify this with a one-shot chapter of Bonnie doing what he does best. Also threw in some plot development, so it wasn't a total waste of time. Thanks for indulging me in my quest to give Bonnie a little extra screen-time.<strong>

**:D**


	6. Now I Bring you Hell

"Yeah, I've been having nightmares. Dreams of being stalked through the station by a big yellow bear. I can't escape it. Every time I try to find a place to hide, or run away, he's already there," Troy confided to The Boss, over the phone.

"Troy," The Boss paused, "is the bear... Julius?"

Troy stopped for a moment, shocked to hear the words. "How the fuck did you know that?!" Troy demanded. The Boss, deciding not to further freak out her old buddy, hung up on him.

"Huh, that's kinda weird," she thought aloud. "Yo, Rab-bot! Where you at?" she called through the halls of Purgatory. Bonnie, in response to her call, fell face first through the ceiling in front of her. "What were you doing up-... nevermind. Did you kill Donnie with a car engine?" she asked her robotic friend.

Bonnie looked up to her, and nodded.

"Really? Huh... Why?" she continued to ask.

Bonnie stood up, and pointed a finger at her.

"Y-you killed Donnie for me?" she said, thrown aback.

Bonnie nodded once more.

"Th-that's so..." she hesitated, "that's so... sweet of you!" she gave Bonnie a big old hug. Bonnie returned the hug, wrapping his arms around her. "I'm gonna have to return the favor. Anytime you want, if there's someone you want dead, I'll kill 'em. Got it?" Bonnie nodded.

The two released their embrace. "So that explains the murder, but it doesn't explain the dream. If Julius visited both me _and_ Troy, then..." she came to a realization. "Oh shit, Gat!"

* * *

><p>Gat entered into Aisha's home. "Eesh, you home?" he called out to her.<p>

"I'm over here, Johnny!" she shouted to him from the kitchen. Johnny walked through the house, and to the kitchen. "Since when do you cook?" he asked as he entered the kitchen.

When he got to the kitchen, Aisha wasn't there. All that was there was an ugly yellow Freddy Fazbear suit, lying limp against the refrigerator.

"That's right," Johnny remembered, "Eesh isn't here anymore."

"And whose fault is that?" Julius' voice taunted as the yellow bear stood to its feet.

"Julius," Gat said, immediately recognizing him by his voice, "how ya been?"

"I've been dead, Johnny. You damn well knew that," Julius-bear responded, with anger in his tone.

"Yeah I suppose I did," Gat said, pulling open a kitchen drawer, which had an assault rifle hidden inside, "not like you didn't deserve it though." Gat opened fire on the ugly yellow bear, emptying the clip on him, but all the bullets bounced off his shell.

"Still as impulsive to violence as ever. Can't you see this shit is what lead to Aisha's death in the first place?" Julius-bear verbally prodded at his weak point, and he slowly closed the distance between him and Gat.

"And blowing up the Boss was what? A friendly warning? Fuck off, Jules."

Julius-bear disappeared briefly, before reappearing right in Gat's face, and lifting him up by the neck. "Don't call me 'Jules,' you haven't earned that right."

Johnny looked down at Julius-bear as he was being choked out, and hawked a loogey on his face. Julius-bear, enraged, chucked Gat aside, through the doorway, and into the dining room. Julius-bear wiped his face, and then strode into the dining room to Gat. "You and the playa, you're just the same."

Johnny coughed out a chuckle "Well... y'know, there's a saying about dogs, and blowin' shit up." Julius-bear kicked Johnny in the stomach. "Oof... besides, better I be like her than a bitch like you..."

Julius-bear lifted Gat up by his hair, and slammed him down, face first, into the glass dinner-table. "Don't you see, Gat? All this death and destruction you and the Saints are causing? You could drop it all, and be free of it!"

"What does it matter,when Eesh is already dead?" Gat mumbled, "Nothing's gonna bring her back."

"Is that what you think, Johnny?" Julius-bear whispered, lifting Gat back up. Julius-bear shoved Gat over to the wall, Gat slumping over, tired and worn out. Then, Julius-bear lifted his mask up, to reveal his skull. His entire lower jaw was covered with newly formed muscle-material, and the bullet-hole in his forehead squirted blood at random intervals. "What the fuck...?"

"I'm being given a second chance at life, Johnny. And she can, too." Julius-bear turned his head to look over to the living room. The living room seemed to crumble in half, revealing a pathway into Hell. With molten lava all around, Gat saw in the distance, Aisha, crucified and crying. "Help me, Johnny!" she shouted out to him.

"Eesh!" Johnny screamed to her.

"What'll it be, Gat? Will you stay with the Saints, creating more destruction and despair with every moment of your existence, or will you drop your flags, and give Aisha a second chance at life?"

Johnny got up, and stumbled toward her. "Eesh, I'm gonna save you!" he shouted as he reached out. He walked forward until he reached the edge of the living room, but just before he stepped into Hell, a hand grabbed him by the shoulder.

"Don't do it, Mr. Gat!" a girl's voice said to him. Gat turned around, and it was Chica who had stopped him. "He's trying to trick you!"

Johnny looked back, and the pathway to Hell had disappeared. Julius-bear grumbled, "Don't interfere, you God damn duck!" he shouted at Chica.

"Hmph, first and foremost, I am a chicken," Chica corrected him, "And second, I am a Saint!" Chica shrieked as she lunged toward Julius-bear. He phased out, and let her fall to the ground, reappearing next to Gat, and grabbing him by the head. Julius-bear squeezed Gat's head, attempting to crush it like a little grape. Gat struggled, but Julius-bear's strength far surpassed his own. Chica then grabbed Julius-bear from behind, and started biting at his shell. Julius-bear got irritated, and tossed them both away, and then phased out once more.

Gat quickly got back to his feet, his head throbbing from Julius-bear's attack. "You okay, Chicky?" he asked Chica. Chica rolled around for a bit, having trouble getting back to her feet, but she eventually got it. "I'm fine, Mr. Gat, but where is Golden..."

Suddenly, a giant hand ripped off the rooftop. Julius-bear's hideous visage towered over the house. "I'm done playing around, Gat," his voice boomed over them like a God, "I gave you a chance to take the easy way, but you seem intent on everything ending in tragedy."

Julius-bear bawled his massive hand into a fist, and raised it high above the house, and then, slammed it down with the force of a thousand suns.

* * *

><p>Gat woke up in a cold sweat in his bedroom. He checked his clock. 8:07 AM. His alarm clock hadn't gone off, for some reason. Then, he noticed Chica standing awkwardly in the corner of his room, staring at him with her unblinking eyes. He put on his sunglasses, and tried to pretend he didn't remember the nightmare. "Hey, Chicky, how you doin'?" He said with a smile as he got out of bed. "Let's Eat!" she exclaimed. "That's right," he said to himself, "she doesn't say much other than that." Chica paused to think for a second, "Let's all have some Pizza!" she said after a moment thinking to herself. "Hah, sounds good. I'll order some up."<p>

Half an hour later, someone came knocking on the door. Gat walked over to the door, and answered it, Pizza slice in hand. It was The Boss. "Gat, are you o-... are you having pizza without me?!"

"Come on in, Boss. There's plenty to go around," Gat invited her in, so The Boss entered, with Bonnie and Foxy following behind her.

Chica was sitting on the couch, watching the news while enjoying an entire pizza-pie. "Hey Ducky!" The Boss greeted Chica.

"Actually, Boss, I'm pretty sure she's a chicken," Gat corrected her.

"Really? Why didn't anybody tell me? I've been calling her a duck this whole time!" The Boss exclaimed.

That moment, somewhere in Stilwater, Pierce's palm involuntarily slapped him straight in the face. It didn't end well. Pierce ended up crashing his Humvee, and Freddy had to pull him out of the wreckage before the damn thing exploded. But nobody gives a shit about Pierce, so let's get back to The Boss and Gat.

The Boss, Gat, Foxy, and Bonnie all grabbed some pizza and sat down with Chica around the television. The Boss had apparently forgotten the whole reason she came over to begin with. Then, a particular news story caught their attention.

"Rise of the Machines?" the header read, as Jane Valderama stood in front of a garage, closed off by police tape. "Tragedy strikes, and this unsuspecting garage may be the beginning of the end, as leaked footage shows us the true cause of the murder that took place two nights ago here at Donnie's garage. Viewers be warned, what you're about to see will be extremely violent."

The News cut to the security footage of Bonnie murdering Donnie in his workshop. "Holy shit, that was fuckin' brutal, Rab-bot!" The Boss complimented her rab-botic companion.

"Is this just a horrible malfunction, or could this be the start of the Robot Revolution we've all feared? I'm Jane Valderama, Channel 6 news."

"You better step up ya game, Patchwork. Rab-bot's lookin' to outdo you," she teased Foxy. Then, her phone started ringing. She pulled it out of her pocket to answer it.

"Hello-Hello!" a familiar, disingenuous voice greeted her.

"Hello," she said back to him in a disinterested manner, as she continued to eat her pizza with the gang.

"You uhh probably don't remember me, but ahh I work for fr- Fazbear Entertainment. I worked the uhhh night-shift at Freddy's, p-before you."

"Fascinating," she was still completely disinterested in what he had to say.

"W-well, we're calling about a uhh News Report that aired recently. Y'see, initially, we thought that you had uhh been... 'caught' by the animatronic characters, and that some vandals came in and took the characters. If that were the case, though, then the animatronics would have simply returned to the restaurant after uhh... 'dealing with' the vandals. However, since you have clearly answered your phone, and after seeing what Bonnie has done on the uhh TV report, we at Fazbear Entertainment can only assume that you uhh stole them."

"Who the fuck is 'Bonnie'?" she asked.

"Uhh Bonnie the Bunny...?"

"Bonnie the B- You mean Rab-bot?" she asked with an irritated tone.

"His uhh proper name is Bonnie."

"He's a boy, you dumb-ass."

"It's uhhh alliteration," he clarified.

"Then fucking call him 'Benny the Bunny,' or 'Robert the Rabbit' or some shit. Don't give him a girl's name."

"Huh, that's not a bad idea... So anyway uhm... we're pressing charges, and your court-date is scheduled for next week. So, uhhh... I guess we'll see you then."

"Whatever," she hung up on him, and focused her attention fully on the pizza.

"Who was that?" Gat asked.

"Some guy from Freddy's. Remind me to call Lee, 'cause we gotta go to court next week."

"Sure thing, Boss," Gat reclined in his seat, and sipped a beer.


	7. Phoneix Guy: Ace? Attorney

**Normally, when I'm writing Fan-Fiction, I like to do research on what I'm writing about, so I don't screw up a name, or a location, or a character. However, I'm going to make an exception for this chapter. I cannot be bothered to research the law and all of it's various complexities. So, if any of my readers are law students, or have jobs wherein they must know all the ins-and-outs of the law, please be forgiving as I stumble my way through a pretend court-case.**

* * *

><p>The Boss and Pierce sat before Legal Lee in his office. They had met up to discuss the upcoming trial concerning The Boss's "theft" of the four animatronics from Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria.<p>

"I've been doing some light research into these Fazbear Entertainment fellows," Lee began, "They're not doing so well, it seems. A dwindling customer base, numerous complaints about the animatronics and their odor, and a weekly carpet replacement, it seems that they were planning on closing the place down by the end of this month."

"Then what the fuck does it matter if I have their robots or not?" The Boss asked her attorney.

"You're a rich an influential 'entrepreneur,' as it is. It seems to me like what they really want is a load of cash to dig themselves out of this financial hole they've gotten themselves into."

"Well, they ain't gettin' it," The Boss scoffed, as she lit up a blunt to try and stave off the boredom of speaking legal affairs.

"Boss, why're you even botherin' with this shit?" Pierce asked, "Usually, when you get a summons, you just ignore it, or kill whoever's pressin' the charges. What gives?"

She exhaled a big cloud of smoke, "Because, Pierce, I have ulterior motives."

"That's right," Lee chimed in, "about this counter-suit we discussed over the phone, I believe it's definitely possible for us to work this out, but we'd need evidence of your innocence, and support from your corporate sponsor."

"I already talked it over with Gryphon," she said, taking another puff from her blunt, "He said he's down with the Saints/Ultor group 'expanding' into children's restaurants."

"And about your innocence?" Lee asked.

"I didn't steal those robots," she claimed.

"Really?" Lee and Pierce asked in unison.

"Really. And shut the fuck up, Pierce," she insisted. "I don't got any reason to lie about what I steal. The car I drove over here in? Stole it. This blunt I'm smokin' right now? Stole it. Those designer glasses I got you for your birthday that you're currently wearing? Stole 'em. I didn't steal no robots, though."

Lee took his glasses off, and stuffed them into his desk drawer. "Well, I suppose that's trustworthy enough," Lee decided, as he dug around his drawer for his other pair of glasses.

"Like Hell it is!" Pierce interjected.

"Shut the fuck up, Pierce," Lee and The Boss said in unison. "Now, it's in our best interest if we cooperate with the Police on this case. I assume you handed the animatronics over to them?"

"Mmhmm," she mumbled, puffing on her blunt.

"Man, what if they kill one of them cops?" Pierce asked.

"It'll be fine, Pierce, I told them not to hurt Troy..." she said in a half-hearted sort of way.

"And if they kill someone who ain't Troy?"

"Actually," Lee interjected, "if they do, we could use that to our advantage. Did you do any modifications to the animatronics?"

"Just Patchwork..." she informed him, as she slumped over in her chair.

"Patchwork," he looked over his paperwork, "which one is that?"

"Patchwork the Pirate, the Dread'n'est Pirate on the semen seas..." she trailed off.

"Boss! Stay awake!" Pierce said, giving The Boss some light wake-up slaps.

"Hm?! Yeah, I'm up," she rose back up in her chair.

Lee looked through his paperwork. "Patchwork... Patchwork..." he mumbled as he read through, "Oh, you mean Foxy the Pirate?"

"Pfffft he he he," she giggled, "that's a girl's name."

"Yeah, that's the one," Pierce clarified.

"Well, uh, what kind of modifications did you make?"

"Uhhh... let's see, there was a bear-trap, a grapplin' hook, water-proofing, and uh... oh yeah, I also gave him glowy eyes," She told him.

"You put a bear-trap in a machine meant for entertaining children?" Lee asked.

"Nooo~, I put a bear-trap in a machine meant for swashbucklin'!"

"Alright, well I'm going to need you to try and make certain that our pirate friend won't hurt anyone for the time being. It would look bad on us if the only one you modified started going around killing people."

"'Kay, I'll give 'em a call after this," she said with a yawn.

"Now, did you alter their programming at all?"

"Nahh. Shaundi's the only one who'd know how to do that, and she wouldn't go near 'em. 'Sides, I like them how they are."

"That's good! That's good! I can work with that," he began gathering his paperwork together, "I think I've got all the information we need. I'll call you if something comes up. So, look sharp for our court-date next week! That means don't light up in the middle of it again."

"Aww, you're no fun..."

"Goodbye, Saints."

* * *

><p>The day of the court hearing. The Boss showed up in front of the court-house in a black Ultor-labelled limousine, alongside Eric Gryphon, her business partner who helped the Saints and Ultor come together to form the SaintsUltor Conglomerate. The Boss was all dressed up for the occasion, wearing a long purple dress, with a white blazer on top, which may or may not be unusual for her. I don't know, I'm not going to tell you how to dress her up when you play the game. Pierce and Gat stood at the doors to the court-house, waiting on her arrival. Pierce was wearing a white suit with a purple undershirt, and a snazzy white beret, and Gat was wearing the same pinstripe suit he wore for his sentencing.

They all walked into the building, where Lee was waiting for them, with all of his paperwork organized and ready, and he proceeded to lead the group over to the court-room. When they entered, The Boss, Lee, and Gryphon sat at the Defendant's chairs, while Pierce and Gat took the pews directly behind them. At the other side of the room, at the Plaintiff's seat were three men. One of them was the overweight, bald manager that had hired The Boss on her security job. Another was a middle aged man, fairly slim, with brown hair, and old-fashioned square framed glasses. His tie was worn loose, and he seemed very concerned about the court proceedings. Finally, there was an unfriendly looking elderly man. He had an ugly grey toupé that couldn't possibly look more fake, and big bushy eyebrows that seemed permanently furrowed in an expression of contempt, as he stared toward the animatronics, who waited patiently behind the evidence table. The only other thing at the evidence table was a tape, presumably the security tape of Donnie's murder. The stenographer was a nervous young woman, sitting uncomfortably close to the animatronics. Bonnie glared at her the entire time, sensing her weakness. He loved to toy with the weak.

Finally, the judge walked into the courtroom. He was a southern gentleman, with gracefully grayed brown hair, and a full moustache, that made him look kind of like Burt Reynolds. As he sat down in his seat, he took notice of The Boss. He pointed at her with a puzzled look on his face. "Don't I know you from somewhere?" he asked her.

"Yes, Judge Bosko! Long time no see!" she said with a smile.

"Ahh yes, you're that lass from Saints Row. Almost didn't recognize you. Did you do something with your hair?"

"I've been getting that a lot lately," she said, maintaining her friendly demeanor.

"Well, it's good to finally hear your voice. You used to be so tight-lipped back in the day," he remarked, "Mhmm, now on to the case." He banged his gavel.

"All rise. The Honorable Judge Bosko, presiding. Court is now in session." someone from in a corner said, beginning the session.

"So, Fazbear Entertainment, you are suing miss... Gwendelyn Bossenstein... is that your real name?"

"Nope," The Boss replied.

"Oh you!" Judge Bosko laughed, then cleared his throat and returned to his duties, "You're suing Ms. Bossenstein for $5,000,000 for theft of company property, damage to reputation, and neglect, leading to the death of a one Donnie the mechanic."

"Uhhh yes, your honor," the brown-haired, glasses wearing fellow responded with a familiar disingenuous voice.

"And Ms. Bossenstein... well, before we get to that, what _is_ your real name?"

"These days, everyone calls me The Boss," she responded.

"Very funny," Judge Bosko chuckled, "I like you." He cleared his throat again, and looked over his papers. "Ms. Bossenstein, you, alongside the Saints/Ultor Conglomerate, are countersuing for the ownership rights of the Freddy Fazbear crew, I assume that's these robots here, as well as the rights to 'Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria' and all copyrights therein, for a dangerous work environment, endangerment of minors, and irresponsible construction and use of deadly weapons, leading to the death of a one Donnie the gangster mechanic."

"Yessir," The Boss responded.

"Alright, fellas from Fazbear Entertainment, let's hear your side first."

The brown haired bespectacled fellow took the stand. "Uh, Hello-Hello. My name is uhh Carter Scottson. I'm a uhh General-Advisor, and former uhh night security guard at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. I've been with the company for... wow, almost thirty years now. I really love this company, love the characters, and I love the looks on the children's faces when they see the animatronics come to life. It really brings warmth to my heart."

"Mr. Scottson, do you have a point?" Judge Bosko asked with an impatient look.

"Sorry, I get a little uhhh emotional when I think about the possibility of uhh losing this company that I've dedicated so much of my life to. Uhh, as Jeremy, our store manager here tells me, Ms. Bossenstein coerced him into hiring her with implications of violence," he explained.

"Is that the manager, sitting next to you?" Judge Bosko asked.

"Uhh yes sir, that would be him," Carter confirmed.

"Then let him speak for himself. Mister uhh whatever your name is, take the stand and tell us how you met Ms. Bossenstein."

The fat little bald man took the stand. "Err, well we had put up a want-ad in the paper for a new night security guard. We go through a lot of them. It's a minimum wage job at a graveyard shift, so as you can imagine, most people don't stay for long. That's when The Boss-... err, Ms. Bossenstein came in. She showed me her resumé, and it was all a bunch of jokes. I honestly didn't take her very seriously. Then, she told me that she was the leader of the Third Street Saints. That's a street gang, your honor," he explained.

"I am aware. Continue with your story."

The manager rubbed the sweat off of his forehead nervously, as all eyes were on him. Even those damn animatronics he hated looking at so much, just stared at him, their faces totally vacant as if they hadn't a thought in the world. "So, then she started laughing at me. Trying to intimidate me. I tried to convince her not to take the job. Tried to convince her that it was dangerous. Then she told me that she was a killer. That she'd murder anybody who tried to break into the place, and while she was saying it, she looked at me like she was gonna murder me if I didn't do what she wanted."

"Is that right?" The Judge asked.

"Yeah, so I hired her. The next morning, I came back and the animatronics were all gone. A few days later, and we saw the news report about Bonnie the Bunny murdering that mechanic."

"Objection! Your honor, that rabbit is a boy!" The Boss called out.

"Overruled, that's irrelevant. Do you have anything further to say, sir?"

"No," the manager sat back down.

"Then back to you, Mr. Scottson," The Judge ordered.

"Uhh, thank you, your honor. So uhmm you see, these animatronic characters are made to entertain children. They couldn't hurt a fly, let alone lift an engine. These Saints must have modified the machines for uhhh their little gang activities, and it looks bad on us that they'd use our mascots like that."

"Is that all?" The Judge asked. Carter nodded. "Then you may be seated. Will the defendant take the stand?"

The Boss and Lee stood up.

"Tell us your side of the story."

The Boss started, "I had taken the job at Freddy's, as I enjoy taking small low-paying jobs like that on my free time. The manager didn't seem to like me, telling me to stay out of sight of the children, and other such hurtful things. They explained to me that the job was a simple security job. What they did not tell me, however, was that the robots would try to hunt me at night."

"Objection, your honor! That claim is ridiculous!" the older fellow who had kept quiet up until now finally spoke up.

"Overruled, I want to hear where this is going. Continue, Ms. Bossenstein."

"I saw that the Rab-bot had moved from his stage, so I tried to confront him to tell him to go back to his position, but he attempted to kill me. I narrowly avoided his attack, and retreated back to my office. That's when I found this."

Lee pulled out a cassette tape and stereo, and played the tape. It was a recording from Carter Scottson. "Uh, hello? I was told you might be the impatient type, so I left you this back-up tape, in case you missed out on something from my call. Uhh, you probably noticed that the animatronics get a bit quirky at night. Rest assured, this is totally normal. They're uhhh left on a sort of 'Free-roaming' mode to keep their servos from locking up. Now, there's nothing to worry about, but if they see you at night, then they probably won't recognize you as a person. They'll see you as a metal endoskeleton without its suit on. Now, since that's against the rules here at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, they're probably going to try to forcefully put you into a Freddy Fazbear suit. Now, that wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for all the metal framing, wiring, and servos. As you can imagine, having your head forcefully put inside one of those masks would cause quite a bit of discomfort... and death. It's nothing to worry about really, though, and this first night should be a breeze. Well, talk to you tomorrow!" Carter said on the tape.

"Mr. Scottson," The Judge addressed him, "You said that these animatronics couldn't hurt a fly. Care to explain yourself?"

"Uhh uhh well," Carter stuttered, "There uhh may be a bit of a glitch in their systems uhm... they can't really see very well in the dark. That's uhh probably why they can't tell the difference between a human and an uhhh endoskeleton, we think."

"Objection!" Lee called out, "As is evident by security footage of Donnie's murder, the animatronics are more than capable of seeing in the dark."

"Hmm, but that murder happened after Ms. Bossenstein acquired the machines. Ms. Bossenstein, if you will, continue your story. How did you acquire the animatronics?"

"Right," The Boss continued, "So, after avoiding their assaults, I attempted to reason with the robots, and found that they could in-fact understand what I was saying. After playing their little game for a time, I was able to appease and befriend the robots."

"You say these robots can speak?" Judge Bosko asked.

"No, not really, they just understand what I'm saying."

Judge Bosko looked over to the robots, waiting patiently at the evidence table. "Is this true? Can the four of you understand what is being said here?" he asked them. The four of them nodded. "Interesting."

"So, after I befriended them, I invited them to come with me, so I could give them their needed repairs. The robots came with me of their own volition, I didn't steal them."

"What say you, robots? Did Ms. Bossenstein take you against your will?" Judge Bosko asked the Fazbear Four. They all shook their heads in response.

"Interesting. Mr. Scottson, are you aware that it is illegal to produce sentient robots in at least three of these United States?" Judge Bosko questioned him accusingly.

"Uhh well," Carter struggled to think of a response, "Uhh you see uhhh... we didn't make the animatronics!"

"I beg your pardon?" The Judge asked.

"W-we uhm p-purchased them from an older restaurant called uhhh," Carter explained, while the older gentleman next to him was giving him dirty looks, "F-Fredbear's Family Diner. Th-that's the one. We did not make any uhhh sentient robots."

"Is that so?" The Judge asked rhetorically. "Well, don't you worry yourself too much. Lucky for you, this ain't one of the states that's illegal in. Just rufflin' your feathers. Now, about these modifications..."

Lee cut in, "Ah yes. We handed the animatronics over to the police to inspect any and all modifications that were made. I now call to the stand Troy Bradshaw, the chief of Police, to report on his findings."

Troy walked out from the pews and approached the stand. "Good to see you again, Troy," The Judge greeted.

"Likewise, I guess," Troy said awkwardly as he fumbled through his reports. "After careful investigation, and cross referencing with the blue-prints we had to dig up, we found that the two animatronics, Freddy Fazbear and Chica the Chicken, had only received minor cosmetic modifications. Their inner-workings had been completely unaltered. Foxy the Pirate, however, had received extensive modifications not previously seen on the blueprints, including, but not limited to, a grappling-hook apparatus installed into the right arm, a repurposed bear-trap used to reinforce his jaw, and new water-tight metal plating placed all around the endo-skeleton."

"Is that right? Anything to say for yourself, Ms. Bossenstein?" The Judge asked.

She cleared her throat, "Patchwork was falling apart when I found him. I simply did everything I could to make him the best he could be. I may have gotten a bit overzealous, at that end."

"I see. Go on, Troy, there was one other?"

Troy sighed, severely regretting his life-choices. "The animatronic in question, however, Bonnie the Bunny, who killed Donnie the mechanic, received no modifications whatsoever. Not aesthetic or otherwise. Further, none of the animatronics had their programming altered in the slightest."

"Huh, well I suppose that settles it. Troy, you may leave. As for you, Fazbear Entertainment," he redirected his attention, "Your claims against Ms. Gwendelyn Bossenstein are dismissed."

"Now, back to you, Ms. Bossenstein. I'm a bit confused as to why you want to take over such a shady, and possibly dangerous company?" He asked her.

Eric Gryphon took the stand, now. "Hello, I'm Eric Gryphon, representative of the Ultor branch of the Saints/Ultor Conglomerate," he introduced himself. "We at Ultor, along with the Saints, pride ourselves on our renovations. Surely, you're familiar with our renovations to the once devastated Saints Row district."

"I am, indeed."

"We at Ultor will use our considerable funds and resources to turn this decrepid and dangerous restaurant into a safe, fun place for kids and grown-up alike." Gryphon pulled out a stand with slide-cards on it. "I present to you, the Saints/Ultor vision for the future of Freddy's. Freddy Fazbear's Family Fun-House. Picture this, no more nasty under-cooked pizza. Now, we have steak, burgers, chicken, fries, hot-dogs, and everyone's favorite, pizza! No more bored kids, now we have arcade machines, ski-ball, bowling alleys. And when we say family, we mean there's fun for the whole family. A bar, just for the adults to enjoy themselves. And, most importantly of all, no more dead security guards."

"Well, Mr. Gryphon, you're quite the salesman," Judge Bosko commented, "very well." He banged his gavel, "I grant all of Fazbear Entertainment's assets to the Saints/Ultor Conglomerate. I look forward to visiting the new and improved location when you re-open."

Gryphon smiled, "Hey, for you, it's on the house."

"Court adjourned!"

Everyone stood, and got their things together to leave. The Boss walked over to Carter, and grabbed him by the arm. "You said something about an older restaurant?" she asked him with intensity in her eyes. "I uhh don't know what you're talking about. I uhh need to go," he said nervously, as he jerked out of her grasp and walked away. The older gentleman who accompanied him blocked her from following with a scowl on his face. "You got what you came for, so leave us the hell alone, you damn bandit!" he barked at her.

She backed off with an amused look on her face. As they walked away with their heads hung low, The Boss walked over to the animatronics. "Hey, Rab-bot, c'mere," she whispered to Bonnie, who looked at her keenly. "I want you to follow Mr. Scottson to his home," she told him. Just as Bonnie was about to walk off, The Boss grabbed him by his shoulder, "but don't kill him. Just find out where he lives." Bonnie was a little confused by her request, but he nodded and complied.

* * *

><p>That night, at Carter Scottson's house in the Suburbs district. Carter was sitting in his living room, reading his newspaper, trying to forget the events of earlier that day. Suddenly, his power was cut, and he heard a window shatter in his hallway. He jumped, startled from it, and just sat completely still in his seat for a few moments, an instinct from when he would run out of power during his security job. As he sat there, he saw fog was seeping in from the crack underneath his hallway-door, and heard the faint sound of singing. He decided, against his better judgement, to investigate. He slowly approached through the darkness, and opened the door to look into the hallway. He saw his shattered window, with a fog machine stuffed in it, but more distressingly, at the far end of his hallway, he saw two glowing yellow eyes. The singing could be heard more clearly now.<p>

_"Yo ho, all hands, Hoist the colors high!"_

The dark figure walked in time with the beat of the song. Carter saw a glimmer come off of him. A hook! The figure rose its hook-hand threateningly as it approached.

_"Heave ho, Thieves and Beggars, never shall we die!"_

Carter's eyes widened with terror, as he realized just who had broken into his house. "F-Foxy?! C-calm down buddy. We're old friends, right?"

Foxy dragged his hook along the wall, leaving a scar along the drywall.

_"Now some have died, and some are alive, and others sail on the sea!"_

Carter panicked, realizing Foxy was indifferent to his pleas, and slammed the hallway-door, and locked it tight. Foxy, however, would not be stopped by a simple locked wooden door. He thrust his hook into the wooden-door, and ripped chunks of the wood out. He peeked his glowing yellow eye through the hole and continued to sing.

_"The keys to the cage, and the devil to pay, we lay to Fiddler's Green!"_

Foxy proceeded to rip the door from its hinges and toss it aside. Carter backed away, terrified of his old acquaintance. "H-hey, c'mon Foxy. You... -gulp- you know you were always my favorite!"

Carter then noticed, through his living-room windows, Freddy, Chica, and Bonnie were all standing outside, watching him as he poorly attempted to fend off Foxy. All of a sudden, they were all singing that haunting tune in harmony.

_"Yo ho, Haul together, Hoist the colors high!"_

Carter, seeing no other option, made a break for his kitchen, try try and escape through the back-door. However, he underestimated Foxy's running speed, and Foxy grabbed him by the shoulder, and threw him into the kitchen counter. "No, Foxy, please!" Foxy held him down with his left hand, face-up, on the counter, and stabbed him in the gut with his hook.

_"Heave ho, Thieves and Beggars, Never shall we die!"_

He sang his haunting song, as he began forcefully ripping out Carters intestines with his hook. Carter screamed in agony, as it was all he could do against Foxy's overwhelming strength, as Foxy disemboweled him bit by bit.

Once all of his intestines lie in a mess on the floor, Foxy released Carter. Carter stumbled around for a bit, until Foxy kicked him down to the floor. "Please, Foxy, d-don't do this!" Carter begged for his life.

Foxy pulled his blunderbuss off from his back, and placed the barrel in Carter's mouth. Foxy laughed a hearty laugh for a moment, then he pulled the trigger, blowing Carter's brains all over the kitchen.

A minute or two after Foxy had done the deed, The Boss and the other Faz-bots entered through the back door. The Boss admired Foxy's kill. "Disembowelment to a Disney song. Looks like the ball's in Patchwork's hand now. You think you'll be able to beat that one, Rab-bot?" Bonnie shrugged, never really considering any kind of "murder competition."

"Nice job, Patchwork, now let's clean this mess up. Troy said he doesn't wanna find any more of you guys' victims, and I like him just enough to respect his wishes," she told her robotic companions.

And so, The Boss and her robo-friends spent the rest of the night cleaning Carter's house.

* * *

><p><strong>Wow, that took way longer than expected, and ended up much longer too. Overall though, I'm pretty happy with how this one turned out<strong>

**I've decided to take this opportunity to explain the personalities I'm going with for the Fazbear Four. I know it can be a be a little difficult to discern a personality from a character who doesn't speak, so mainly I'm just looking for feedback as to whether or not I have adequately displayed these personalities through-out the story.**

**Freddy: Freddy is a gentleman. He enjoys the finer things in life, like a good top-hat, or duckling a l'orange. Freddy is also the only one of the animatronics who can speak freely in the real world. The "garbled nonsense" was actually just him speaking backwards. Not sure how many people noticed that. He also enjoys sport, and he is the one who came up with the game that they play with the night-guards. Not actually malicious, but he does enjoy killing people from time to time.**

**Bonnie: Bonnie is a psychopath with a strong sense of loyalty. He's also extremely fast (based on his in-game ability to "teleport" from room to room), faster even than Foxy. He also likes to give hugs.**

**Chica: Chica is the closest thing to an "innocent" animatronic. She's slow, and not particularly intelligent, but she's caring, and she likes to help out her friends, even when that means helping her friends murder people.**

**Foxy: Foxy's personality was the easiest to work with, since he's a pirate. That pretty much covers a lot of his bases. He's got an affinity for treasure and ale, and he loves to sing sea-shanties with his mates. He doesn't care for sneaking around, so he'd much rather charge forward, head-first to his destination. Who has need for patience when there's treasure, matey?!**

**Thank you for reading, and hopefully the next chapters won't take so long. :)**


	8. Dr Moonlight

**Normally, I am whole-heartedly against giving OCs a major role in fan-fiction, as that just seems to defeat the point of writing fan-fiction. However, I was feeling adventurous, and also due to a technicality, I'm not sure that this character counts as an OC. You'll see what I mean. Anyway, feel free to debate me on that.**

**Without further adue, I introduce to you: Dr. Moonlight, the Witch Doctor.**

* * *

><p>Stilwater, the year 1983.<p>

Dr. Moonlight, the Witch Doctor, was visiting the city with his kid brother, away from their home in Haiti. He had told his little brother that it was just a vacation, however, in truth, he was scouting out the gang activity. The Carnales and the Vice Kings were the major players vying for control in the city, currently. It would be difficult, if not impossible, to establish drug trade without dealing with The Carnales, and unfortunately, Los Carnales were not too keen on doing business with Haitians. A sad state of affairs really.

But, none of that truly mattered tonight. Dr. Moonlight had been engrossed in his work, but he never forgot the importance of family. Today was his little brother's birthday. Tonight was a time of celebration.

Moonlight and his brother sat in his car in silence, as he drove them to their destination. He decided to break the silence by putting on one of his favorite cassette tapes. Dr. Moonlight tapped his hands on the wheel to the rhythm, as the stereos played My Grandfather's Clock, by Johnny Cash.

His little brother looked at him impatiently. "Why you always gotta listen to 'dis country music, bruddah?"

Dr. Moonlight smiled at the boy. "What's the matter, little bruddah? You don't like Johnny Cash?"

"You know I hate 'dis kinda music, bruddah! Can't we listen ta some reggae?" the boy whined.

Dr. Moonlight laughed softly. "Don't you worry, none, little bruddah. You won't have to put up wit' it much longer, we're almost there," he assured his little brother. Despite their differences in musical taste, the young boy looked up to his big brother a great deal. Dr. Moonlight had actually taken him as a protegé, and was teaching him the skills to be a Witch Doctor, as well.

"We're here," Dr. Moonlight said, stopping the car in the parking-lot of Fredbear's Family Diner. "We're eating at Fredbear's?" the boy complained. "C'mon, bruddah! I'm too old to go to some kid's place like Fredbear's!"

Dr. Moonlight pulled a big gift-box out from the trunk of the car, then slammed it shut. "Nonsense! Nobody's too old for good, old-fashioned family fun!" he said with a grin, as he ruffled the boy's dreadlocks. "C'mon, don't ya want ta have some pizza?" he asked as he lead the way into the building. The boy pouted as he begrudgingly followed his older brother into the building.

When they entered the building, they were greeted by the owner. A friendly looking, portly fellow. His name-tag read "Fred Berenstain."

"Hello, and welcome to Fredbear's!" he said with a great big smile. "You must be Dr. Moonlight!" Moonlight nodded, "and that must make _you_ the lucky birthday boy!" he greeted the boy. "So, how old are you, today?"

"I'm 12," the boy told him, still pouting.

"Hah, that's a great age. Here, let me take that off your hands," Fred said, taking the present for Dr. Moonlight, "And, I'll lead you to the party room!"

Fred lead the two to a small room, with two tables, and various festive decorations all about, including a "Happy Birthday!" banner, just for the occasion. Fred placed the gift-box down on the table, and pulled a notepad out from his back pocket. "And what kind of pizza would you like, tonight?" he asked.

"I want 'da pineapple pizza," the boy said, trying not to sound too enthusiastic.

"Very good! And for drinks?"

"Just some orange juice, for the both of us," Dr. Moonlight told him.

Fred jotted it down really quick. "Alright, the Fredbear crew will be here to serve you your food. And remember to have a Freddy-rific time!" he said with a goofy smile, before wandering off.

The boy slumped over onto the table. "Seriously, bruddah, why you gotta take me to a kid's place like 'dis?"

"Come now, surely I taught ya better than that. Can't ya feel the spirits in this area?" Moonlight asked as he waved his hands around all mystically.

"Spirits?" the boy asked, a little confused.

"Focus. Use your mind's eye, little bruddah."

The boy, heeding his older brother's words, closed his eyes and tried to focus. Slowly, he started hearing them, the voices of the dead. Children crying out for help.

"This place is a powerful channel for the dead. They freely roam these halls. You feel it, ya?"

"Y-yeah... I feel them," he responded.

Just then, Freddy the Bear walked in, carrying a big pineapple pizza in hand. "Hey there, buddy! I hear tell it's your birthday" Freddy said with a southern accent, as he stiffly and robotically placed the pizza down on the table before them, "So me and my pals have come to sing you happy birthday!"

The boy groaned, as Bonnie the Bunny and Chica the Chicken entered the room, and into position next to Freddy.

"Are you ready for Freddy? A one, and a two..."

The three animatronics sang in unison, along with Dr. Moonlight, since he was feeling festive.

_"Happy Birthday to you!_

_Happy Birthday to you!_

_Happy Birthday, dear Sunshine!_

_Happy Birthday to you~!"_

Dr. Moonlight chuckled as his little brother, Sunshine, covered his face in embarrassment. Finally, he handed Sunshine his present. "Happy Birthday, little bruddah."

When Sunshine finally got over his embarrassment, he started ripping the wrapping paper off of the gift box. The box was a plain brown box, totally unlabeled. The boy opened up the top, and finally found his gift. It was a long, black doll, with a very skinny frame, and a white marionette face, with purple lines running down from its eyes. Its face was molded into a big cheerful smile.

Little Sunshine looked it over, confused. "You got me a doll, bruddah?"

"It's not a doll, little bruddah, 'tis a puppet," Dr. Moonlight corrected his brother.

"A puppet?" Sunshine asked, as he looked over the doll some more. "But, it ain't got no strings, or no holes. What am I s'pose ta do with it?"

"It is a spirit puppet, bruddah," Moonlight explained, "only the dead may see its strings, and only a Witch Doctor may move them." Moonlight put his hand high above the puppet's head, and fiddled his fingers about. As he moved his fingers, the puppet began to dance in Sunshine's arms. Sunshine watched it in awe for a moment, but then he furrowed his brow when he realized something.

"Wait, is this just for my training?" Sunshine asked with an irritated tone.

"No, bruddah, nothing like that. This is something to let you know that, no matter what happens, I'll always be right here for you."

"What do you mean?"

"Just that we live dangerous lives, bruddah. But I'll always be here for you. Right here, in Stilwater."

* * *

><p><span>1983<span>

The next week, Dr. Moonlight was killed in a Los Carnales drive-by. Young Sunshine was sent back to his home in Haiti, where he continued to study and practice to become a powerful Witch Doctor

1984

Fredbear's Family Diner is shut down, after numerous complaints and health-code violations.

1985

U2, and Blondie, and Music still on MTV.

1986

Fazbear Entertainment is formed. The company purchases all of the animatronics from Fredbear's Family Diner, in hopes of renovating, and re-opening.

1987

Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria opens up, with brand new animatronics. An odd marionette is donated to the company, and subsequently put in charge of the Prize Corner.

* * *

><p><strong>I hope I didn't offend any of you with my flashback! I know the forward-thinking nature that the story used to have was really the only reason my story was so unaffected by the release of FNaF2, and that by going back in time, I'm pretty much guaranteeing that FNaF3 is going to render this story obsolete, but... well... I like adding depth, damn it! Besides, I'm sure FNaF3 won't come around <strong>_**too **_**soon.**


	9. Christmas time in Purgatory!

**You're probably getting sick of Christmas specials around now. Well, I don't give a fuck. I don't even care that this makes the story dated. It's Christmas, damn it, and I've been planning this chapter for weeks.**

* * *

><p>'Twas the night before Christmas, and the Saints were having a party<p>

Everyone was invited, so they kicked out those who were tardy

"You're not going to rhyme this whole chapter, are you? 'Cause you're kinda fuckin' terrible at it."

Okay, I'll cut that out. And you mind the fourth wall, Boss.

"Woops,"

The halls of Purgatory were filled with guests. All of the Saints' friends, family, affiliates, robots, zombies, and out of place porn-star cameos were present. All of Purgatory was decorated with festive cheer. They even put a little Santa hat on the Saint of all Saints. Chica was over in the back room, playing pin the nose on the Rudolph with Gat and Mr. Wong. Bonnie was up on the balcony, playing heavy metal Christmas jingles on his guitar, while Tobias cheered and heckled him.

"WOOOH! YEEEAAAH! PLAY FREE BIRD!" He yelled at Bonnie as he was playing Jingle Bell Rock. Bonnie stopped playing momentarily, and narrowed his eyes at Tobias. Accepting his challenge, Bonnie began playing Free Bird, starting from the solo, because that's the part that everyone comes to hear. Tobias started head-banging profusely, "Fuck yeah, this is my jam!" he shouted excitedly. So, maybe he wasn't heckling and genuinely did want to hear Free Bird.

Meanwhile, The Boss was sitting at the mini-bar with Foxy, drinking whiskey and eggnog. The Boss had a TV set up near the bar, so that she could share with Foxy her favorite Christmas movie: Die Hard.

"Do you really think you have a chance against us, Mr. Cowboy?" Hans threatened his unknown foe over the walkie-talkie.

"Yippee ki yay, mother fucker!" John McClane taunted him.

The Boss laughed when he finally said that phrase that would become the catch-phrase of the franchise. "I love that shit!" she declared, taking another swig of her eggnog. "Hey Patchwork, remind me to add that line to your voice thing later," she said to Foxy. Foxy just sort of looked at her oddly, not really understanding the cultural significance of the phrase.

All the while, a strange little marionette doll had set up in front of the Saint of all Saints statue. It was sitting atop a great big present, a little music box that playing the tune of Johnny Cash's "The Man Comes Around" next to it, as it beckoned people to come over to it. As they did, one by one, he slithered into his big box, and pulled out presents for everyone who approached.

Tobias opened his gift. "I got a new bong!"

Shaundi opened her gift. "I got a new bong!"

Pierce opened his gift. "I got a rock."

Freddy stared at the marionette from a corner, suspicious of its presence. Nobody seemed to question it, yet nobody admitted to bringing it. He knew the doll, yet he did not speak up about it. He wanted to observe it, to make certain it wasn't there to cause trouble for him. His attention was distracted when he saw his friend Pierce walking off to a corner, dejected and depressed.

Freddy walked over to the mini-bar. The Boss and Foxy were still enjoying Die Hard. It had already gotten to the scene where John McClane and Hans Gruber meet face to face, and Hans put on a really bad American accent to try and trick McClane. Freddy prepared two mugs of eggnog, The Boss and Foxy so engrossed in the movie, they didn't even notice Freddy come around. The two mugs filled, Freddy left them, and walked over to Pierce.

Pierce was pouting in the corner. "Dneirf, gongge emos ekil uoy dluow?" Freddy asked Pierce, holding one of the mugs out toward him. He didn't really want to take notice of Freddy, but it's kind of hard to ignore the enormous robot teddy bear offering you alcohol. He begrudgingly accepted it, and took a swig.

Freddy decided to spend some time with Pierce. They couldn't communicate very well, so mostly they just ended up watching the other party-goers, whilst drinking their eggnog. They watched as Lin and Carlos played bobbing for apples. Troy stood near, keeping watch so as to make sure they don't eat any of the other party goers. While Troy had his attention focused on Lin as she was taking her turn bobbing for apples, Carlos snuck off to the nearby cooler, and grabbed a can of soda, shaking it profusely before returning to the apple-tub, offering Troy the soda. Carlos tapped Lin on the shoulder, getting her attention. Troy proceeded to open the soda can, and got sprayed all over with soda, getting his uniform all wet, and making his moustache sticky with soda. Lin and Carlos laughed their zombie laughs, as Troy grumbled.

Then, Pierce noticed The Boss staring at him from the bar, with a cheeky grin upon her face. Pierce looked back to Freddy to see if he knew what she wanted, but Freddy simply shrugged. The Boss whispered something in Foxy's ear, before leaving and walking over toward Pierce, Foxy's gaze still glued upon the TV. Her grin seemed to grow wider as she approached.

"What's up, Boss?" Pierce asked nervously, trying to figure out what she was up to. She didn't answer. When she finally got up close, she cornered him against the wall. "Boss? What are you-" Pierce was interrupted when The Boss suddenly gave him a deep kiss. Pierce was paralyzed for the moment, and Freddy's eyes widened in surprise. When she finally stopped kissing him, she giggled. "Pierce, were you trying to tempt me?" she asked coyly.

"W-what?" Pierce asked, totally flabbergasted.

The Boss pointed up. Pierce and Freddy looked up, and saw that Pierce had been standing under the mistletoe this whole time. "D-damn it, Boss! Don't mess with me like that!" Pierce stammered. The Boss burst out laughing as she walked back to the bar to watch her movie. Pierce blushed bright red, as Freddy giggled his slow giggle at Pierce's expense.

The Boss and Foxy were sitting through the final credits of Die Hard, when Shaundi walked over with a letter in-hand. "Hey, Boss, you know anyone named 'Player'?" she asked The Boss.

The Boss turned to look at her. "That's what people called me, before I was in charge. Why? Someone send me a present?"

"That puppet thing over there's been handing out presents to everyone," she pointed to the Marionette at the staircase, "He gave me this letter, but it's not for me. I guess he wanted me to give it to you."

"Cool. Maybe it's got money in it," The Boss joked, as she took the letter and opened it up. It was just an old piece of paper with a short message written on it. "You ready for this, player? Sincerely..." she read aloud.

"Sincerely who?" Shaundi asked.

"It's me," The Boss stated.

"You sent yourself a letter?" Shaundi asked, confused.

"No. It says 'Sincerely, It's me'," The Boss clarified.

"Uh... what does that mean?"

"Fuck if I know," The Boss said dismissively, as she wadded up the letter, and proceeded to throw it in the nearby trash can. "Let's ask that puppet thing."

The two looked over, but the Marionette was gone. He had taken his present box and left while nobody was looking. "Oh well, I didn't care that much about it, anyways," she said dismissively, as she turned back to Foxy. "Patchwork, you ready for your present?" She asked him with a smile. Foxy's eyes widened when she said it. He had never received a present himself. Given them out back when he was a children's entertainer, certainly, but never received any for himself.

The Boss lead Foxy out to the old underground neighborhood, just outside of Purgatory, beckoning Shaundi and Pierce to follow along as well. There, waiting for them was a large structure hidden under a tarp. The tarp was attached to three rope pulleys. The Boss took one of the ropes, and pointed Pierce and Shaundi to the other two.

"So Patchwork, I know I've put a lot of work into making you sea-worthy and all that, but let's face facts. As it is, you're just a filthy landlubber," she teased her pirate friend. "Now, I can't have a lubber-pirate in my crew, so I took the liberty of procuring a solution to that."

She signaled to Pierce and Shaundi, and they all began pulling the ropes. As the tarp slowly lifted, Foxy's eyes widened as he beheld his glorious gift. The tarp arose to reveal a steel battleship, with cannons adorned all over it. A Saint's Fleur was painted along the bow of the ship.

Foxy looked over to The Boss, his eyes twitching as if he were about to cry. The Boss nodded, "It's all yours, Cap'n," she reassured him. Foxy screeched with joy, as he ran over and climbed up into his ship to inspect every little nook and cranny.

Pierce walked over to The Boss. "Did you have this thing built here, yourself?" he asked.

"Yup."

"You _do_ know this thing's too big to fit through the door, right? How were you planning to get it up top?" Pierce asked, pointing out the flaw in her plan.

"Ehh, I'll figure something out," she said dismissively, turning around to go back to the party. She walked over to the Saint of all Saints statue, to address the whole party.

"Merry Christmas, to all, and to all a good fight!"


End file.
